My new sounds: Reason 6.0 and Record to sample my drum sounds (Propellerhead)

My new sounds: Using Reason 6.0 from Propellerhead

My songwriting has been focused on this specific project — building a bridge between the gay, bisexual, and lesbian communities. I’ve bared all in my lyrics, many of the songs completely true.

But now I find myself completely stuck. I picked up a guitar today for the first time in…well…a long friggin’ time. I couldn’t play. No chords came out; no melodies found themselves. I wrote a bit, but I couldn’t stand what came out. I hated it, actually.

I’m lost without the focus behind “Both Ways”. But perhaps I was hiding behind that focus. I didn’t allow myself to write outside of that *box*. Now I’m left to write, well, whatever the f*&k I want. I don’t know if the songwriter in me is ready to do that just yet. I also don’t know if she knows how to play live instruments anymore. I bought a tambourine and a shaker, along with Record for Reason Users (bad analog/digital combo). I absolutely LOVE Record/Reason. But it’s a strange affair between live mics and patterns on Dr. Rex.

I need time. I need space. But the *real* stuff running through my head needs lyrics…needs rhyme…needs rhythm. This is like eating frozen oysters — you just swallow them whole, trying not to taste them or feel the texture as they slide down your throat. ”Both Ways” is done. But I’m not.

xoxo Suse.

I’m really coming to terms with my decision to be the behind the scenes type of musician. I felt so at home in a vocal booth for 3 hours, really working and pushing myself for some great takes.

I’m reading this (maybe silly to you) book called The Happiness Project.

http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Project-Morning-Aristotle-Generally/dp/006158326X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1311090400&sr=1-1

It’s reminding me that people change, and the 6 year old me who wanted to be a performer like Madonna, with all the theatrics etc, has to shut up for awhile. The 32 year old me wants this life.

And I’m just fine with that.

xoxo

Dear rockstars,

I’ve met so many bass players in my crazy times of being in and out of bands, best of all two people dear to my heart, Carmine and Christopher, both incredible musicians and (more importantly) inspiring people.

Last night, I was privileged, no…blessed…to have had the opportunity to see Paul McCartney @ Yankee Stadium, thanks to surprise tickets from my all loving husband, John. (Funny that my husband would have the first name of a Beatle. Life imitates art, no?)

I had a fantastic time, no surprise there. I’d had tickets to see Macca in 2005, thanks to my also all loving father, Richie. However, at the time, I was in a place mentally where I wasn’t leaving the house and couldn’t possibly imagine going to a stadium to see a concert with “all those people”. So my dad graciously gave the tickets to his dear friend Mike, who passed away shortly afterward. Luckily, Mike went *his way* having experienced one of his greatest influences in music during his lifetime. I hope you are at peace now, my friend.

Sir Paul NEVER stopped last night, except for taking (literally) a 30 second break between 2 encores. Some (most) of his set was predictable, but he threw in a couple of surprises, including “I’m Looking Through You” and “The Night Before” from the “Help” soundtrack.

So, of course, as well many do the day after a concert, I listened to the Beatles while getting ready for my day this morning. On shuffle, George’s “Here Comes the Sun” popped up while drying off from my shower. My iHome’s EQ is set to bring out the bass, and I really listened to Paul’s bassline in the song. I actually want to sit and learn it, it took me so. And I’m no bass player.

This guitarist/pianist secretly wants to be one after last night.

xoxo

Suse.

I’m tired of looking for the “right” venue with the “right” audience. You, rockstars, are my audience. And reaching you through my music is one of those “acute” important things in my life at 32 (almost 33).

So with that, I give you “Both Ways” in a few weeks, from start to finish. I’m not saying I won’t be recording music anymore — probably only singles one at a time, unless I feel I have a complete body of work that needs to come out as an album. But I’m not giving up writing or producing my own work. Ever. I’m proud of my work thus far, and I’m already proud of the work that’s to come. And I’m not just talking about “Both Ways.” I’m talking about the songs that haven’t been sung, the lyrics that haven’t yet been written. I’ve got numerous notebooks holding full blown songs as well as tinkers of titles. And I plan to deliver them all to you — at least those I feel fit to share with others.

It’s a new page I’ve turned to in my career, and I hope you’ll all grab a bookmark to read along. I promise the story will never get boring.

xoxo

Suse.

Hey Rockstars,

This track is planned to be the last track on ?Both Ways? (whether it morphs into a full album or an EP due to timing). It?s a love song from a mother to her daughter. I won?t mention names, except, well, one of them is named Eleanor. You can decide which one she is.

Make your shows on time kids,

xoxo

Suse

“Trying to be a rockstar” is proving to be more difficult. I have to design an album cover, the track list, and how many tracks I want on the record. Ha, still call it record. Is it over? Can I go to the Grammy’s yet, please? Cheers, Suse

but i say, honor all girls and women today and every day. i don’t believe you have to be the bearer or the legal guardian of a child to be celebrated today. if you take care of anything in this world — be it an animal, a garden with living greens, a friend in need, your husband (even though he’s a pain in the ass) — you should be celebrated today too. being a mother (although i’m not one, but i have one) is about being there, unconditionally, for a living being who needs you and your love.

i sent texts to all of my friends who are mothers today rolling through my address book in my phone. but there were so many other women who aren’t, technically, mothers that deserve celebration today. my aunt loves and cares for her two golden retrievers. i have two other friends who are school psychologists and take care of other people’s children for 7 or more hours, 5 days a week. i work with two women, around my age, who are married or (almost) married, and are teachers who take care of young children at my job.

i want today to be called “women’s day”, especially for those women who will not or do not have children. they surely care for something else, just as important and special to them. i celebrate all of you. even my female cat Lucy (who i affectionally call Lucifer from time to time) who lovingly cleans my two brother cats Paul and Pepper. (One day she’ll love Mackenzie too…)

hats off to all of you. just for being a woman.

xoxo

Suse.

but i’m one of those virgo’s who HATED breaking the rules. i was chicken sh*t in HS. i think that’s why i went nuts in my 20s, and by nuts i mean making a complete mess of things by making mistakes left and right, bad judgement calls, etc. oh well. i turned out alright.

so the latest song i’m working on is called “kissing kate” (a tribute to katherine moennig from the L Word). this is the song where i sampled a whole bunch of noises in my studio and turned them into a drum track. i want the listener to be pleased with what she’s listening to as a song, but i also want there to be discomfort with the storyline and the dissonant harmonies. as a pop writer, i’m having trouble doing just that — i’ve written paul mccartney-esque melodies my whole life. so how do i break some sonic rules? i should just let myself get detention once and get it over with. then it all won’t seem so bad.

xoxo

I?ve got Pandora playing the Imogen Heap channel as I compose a writing sample that reflects both my personality and why I believe Paul McCartney is dead. (Have you tried playing the Sgt. Pepper?s album backward? An imposter exists, I swear.) That second part may take awhile, so I?ll just stick to the personality part.

From the time I park my car in my driveway to the time my head hits the pillow, all I can think about is music, writing, and sketching. My laptop is always open with screens displaying the following, not in any particular order: iTunes, Microsoft Word, Garage Band, and Safari pointed at Google images for fantasy drawings. I spend way too much money on iTunes (says my husband), I jot down ideas for songs or fiction in Word, I sing a line or two that develops into a song in Garage Band, and I use Google images to search for a fun sketch to stretch my imagination with a charcoal pencil.

Above all is the music. I started my music career, as far as I?m concerned, at five years old when my dad plopped me in front of the cheesy Casio keyboard we owned in 1982. I had a Beatles songbook with ratty pages and a spine with multiple creases. I couldn?t read a single note, but I plunked out as many chords as I could by ear. That led to me humming along with George Harrison?s underrated guitar solos and becoming a tiny-sized singer.

I grew up in the 80s but didn?t have a clue about the music scene except for my idol Madonna showing her bloomers at the MTV Video Music Awards sometime around 1985. My parents hated the fact that, of all artists, she was the one that I latched onto. But what pre-pubescent girl who read about good girls in Sweet Valley High books didn?t want to ?Express (Her)Self??

Concurrently, my dad introduced me to the bands of the ?60s and ?70s (minus anything that gave a nod to disco). Clapton, the Stones, the Eagles, CSN, the Band, the Allman Bros?the list goes on. I appreciated all of it: learned the details of melody from Paul McCartney and Wings; the rich harmonies of Crosby, Stills and Nash; the growl in the voice of Eric Clapton singing Layla (not the abomination of the acoustic version, of course). I wanted to play everything I heard. I quickly got my hands on both acoustic and electric guitars, as well as a Fender amp that drove my mother nuts. Soon after, the female singer/songwriter crew dominated the airwaves as I began listening to the radio for the first time in my teens, and Tori Amos said the word ?cum? on Little Earthquakes. I was hooked.

Handfuls of bands and recording cassettes later, here I am, recording my second solo independent digital record with an agent who is out in West Hollywood. I blog regularly for my faithful fans (susanelizabethmusic.tumblr.com), and I post new music as quickly as possible on ReverbNation.com.

My sketching and writing are hobbies of mine that keep me sane when songwriting becomes more of a burden than a creative flow. Being in the music business and wanting to make money (real money) from songwriting can become daunting, even mentally draining. Sometimes I sit in my studio and stare at my computer screen with hundreds of samples, 8 guitars, and 3 pianos at my disposal. Yet still I feel detached from music. So I pick up some graphite pencils and use my MacBook Pro to either sketch fantasy drawings, such as faeries or elves, or write short stories about characters that have a great tale to tell. Super fun, I tell ya.

So that?s me in 890 words or less (actually after ?890?, that makes the count a little higher). I hope you dig. Get a shovel.

Song #1 from Both Ways. It?ll be on iTunes sometime next week, but you can grab it now for $0.99 at CDBaby.com!! xoxo Suse

I know that some people who hear my next CD, “Both Ways,” might be surprised, if not insulted or offended, by my lyrics. I have a lot to say, and unlike “Wine and Cigarettes,” I took my thoughts and emotions to another level. There are songs about men, songs about the same sex…

And then a line hit me yesterday. I’m not ashamed to state my religious affiliation, though it may be different from, well, almost every single person in my life. I still believe in love, a higher power (though he isn’t a “He” or a person who made us in His likeness), and being as kind as you can to anyone you meet.

But what happens when I have something to say about my confusion about the End with a capital E? Who do we all meet? I don’t believe in God, so obviously St. Peter isn’t getting an RSVP from me. Other friends of mine are expecting some prime number of virgins. Hey, that’s all cool…I respect each and every one’s beliefs, even if one thinks he’s headed for the ground to make it with a maggot. Cool by me.

I’m just afraid to write lyrics about this. People tend to take things the way they want to take them. If someone wants to be offended by a speech, a TV show, a song, an interview, then they’re gonna. I don’t want people to be offended by my art. I want them to contemplate their own views, and then consider others’.

Then there are those who might say, “Suse, just shut up.”

Not gonna happen.

Unfortunately, I forgot $14.95 of my look at home. And I forgot my watch. Where the hell was it on the bathroom counter?

Mind you, this is in between feeding my three male cats in the kitchen and my bitchy female cat in the bedroom (god forBID they eat together) and making my own skimpy lunch. So I suppose I could easily forgotten the brow liner. And the watch.

There’s a song in here somewhere, I know it.

Then I remember that it’s Friday. The word that makes most American students and working adults say fuck the watch.

xoxo

Suse

Well, does this mean I need to make another great 4 years of my life? Hell yeah!! It begins with the past year of recording “Both Ways”. This is going to be the most “fun” album I’ve recorded. Does it contain songs that mean things to me? Sure. But I made fun of myself. A lot. I mean, “I’m in Love With Your Girlfriend”? Come on. Total riot. Will it sell? I f*cking hope so! But when I think of the 15 minutes in which I wrote it (no joke…maybe I’m exaggerating…10 minutes), I contemplate how good, perhaps great, songs are written. Inspiration hits you like your mother might have with a wooden spoon, and you just vomit funny rhymes and accompanying predictable chords…and a song is born. Sometimes I think I try too hard. Then I smack myself with the wooden spoon.

So tonight, in remembrance of the original amazing 4 years of my life (in which I learned to kiss pretty well…I might say pretty f*cking well…), I’m wearing gold and navy eyeshadow (the BCHS colors). I still have my tassel. Sometimes I wish it still was on the left side of my graduation hat, no matter how silly we all looked graduation day.

Love you all,

Suse.

xoxo